


Kocak's Very Bad Holiday In Prison

by Jankies



Category: Prison Architect (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Luck, Gen, How to do everything wrong, how to not break out of a prison, how to not flee for your life, how to not make friends, stop left-clicking goddammit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7859797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jankies/pseuds/Jankies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kocak is new to prison and does not have the hang of things, especially right-clicking.</p><p>Based on a true story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kocak's Very First Day...Does Not Go So Well

**Author's Note:**

> It originally started with some other guy but I can't remember his name so I used Kocak instead.
> 
> Also, the story is dedicated to the warden of this prison.

Kocak was brought into the prison on a rainy night. He was taken out of the police car and was led by officers and police dogs to one of the prison entrances, where he was stripped down and cleaned in case he was hiding lock picks in his massive black beard, which he had been.

 _Drat,_ thought Kocak as his lock picks were taken away and he was put into an orange prison uniform. From there he was led through a maze of hallways to a holding cell, which had a bed and a toilet.

Kocak was not so sure what to do. He wondered if he could carefully examine the lock on the outside of his cell door. He approached the door and went to slip his hand through the bars, but ended up giving the door a fierce jabbing punch.

"Gaddangit," said Kocak as an officer came and beat him up and dragged him over to solitary confinement, where he had to wait four hours. On the plus side, Kocak thought as he did some exercises while he waited, I now have some rep points.

Kocak knew rep points were like cigarettes. You could use them to pay for stuff. It was good that Kocak had gotten 2 rep points because he didn't smoke.

Kocak stood near the prison door and waited until an officer came over and told him his four hours were up.

 _Hooray,_ thought Kocak, and he was led from solitary to the mess hall, where all the criminals went to eat lunch. This was good, because Kocak was starving.

Kocak brought his lunch tray over to a table and sat down and examined the other criminals milling about and eating.

 _Hm,_ Kocak thought, squinting slyly. _Maybe I can escape if I use my rep points to make a gang. The gang will help me beat up people and create chaos while I break out. And then I will be free._

This was pretty good. Kocak stood up and walked over to someone. He went to extend his hand in greeting, but ended up punching the man in the face.

 _Oops,_ thought Kocak as he was tasered repeatedly. Now properly subdued, he was taken away to solitary again, where he would have to wait another four hours. Kocak sighed as he earned more rep points. It was sure hard to make friends.


	2. Kocak Undergoes A Beautiful Transformation…Minus The Beautiful Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything you knew about the scientific impracticalities of body-swapping is wrong

The next day was a fresh start for Kocak. He was released from solitary and, after attempting a brief escape, was beaten by guards and hauled into a big room with a nice library, some tables, and even a massive public shower system. He was told to wait in there and then the guards shut the door, leaving Kocak in a room that would have been much nicer had it not been packed with other smelly criminals and a guard.

Kocak noticed he'd gotten a few more rep points. Well, escaping hadn't worked today, but maybe making some friends would. He walked over to a dumpy bald man with a five o'clock shadow and a tattoo of a snake on his shoulder.

"Wow," said Kocak. "You have a snake tattoo?? So do I!"

"Really??" the other man exclaimed elatedly, like it was the best news he'd heard all week, which it was. "Where is it? Can I see it?"

"No," said Kocak, "I can't show it to you now because it's in a very inappropriate place. But maybe I can show you when we use the public showers."

"Sounds great!" Kocak's new friend said, and smiled. "My name's Jack Burski by the way. I'm in here for looting. Eleven times. Various locations. Once on a gazelle, which I looted from a nearby zoo. They called me the Gazellooter."

"Nice," Kocak replied. "I'm Kocak. I'm a mob boss, so I've got a lot of crimes under my belt, including first-degree murder! But I'm actually here for tax evasion."

"That's always how they get ya," Burski said, shaking his head.

"Yeah," Kocak said with his signature light chuckle. "Hey," he said, raising his ginormous eyebrows. "Want to join my gang? I could give you some of my rep points."

"Ok," Jack Burski agreed. "I'll take three."

"It's a deal," Kocak said. They shook and it was official.

Then, something crazy happened! Kocak went to look at the stats of Jack Burski but instead he got transformed into a smelly, overweight bald man with unglorious stubble! Kocak gasped. He wasn't Kocak any more! He was JACK BURSKI!

Kocak was very confused. So was Jack, who was now in Kocak's body. The new Kocak wobbled on his new feet.

"Holy smokes you are way fat," new Kocak commented to old Kocak. New Jack Burski put his hands on his hips because that hadn't been a very nice thing for Old Jack Burski to say.

To avoid further confusion, from this point hereon, Kocak will be known as Jack Burski and Jack Burski will be known as Kocak.

"Well," Jack Burski said with his newly signature light chuckle. "This is weird shit."

"Yes," Kocak agreed, stroking his new luxurious beard. "Weird shit indeed."

But overall, Jack Burski was happy, because now he had a gang member, and that meant he was a rising power in the prison. This could only mean good things for his future. Very good things.

 _Not bad for only a second day,_ Jack Burski reckoned. _Not bad at all._


End file.
